[素材积累]英语幽默小故事

英语幽默小故事1

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.

Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up  already.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

别捡地上的钱

一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。

“为什么不捡?”

“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”

“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”

英语幽默小故事2

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.

知识越少挣钱越多

定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。

下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：

假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。

假设二：时间就是金钱。

每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。

因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。

结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。

英语幽默小故事3

They Should Be Playing at Night

A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to  some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over  to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for  their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about  the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on  me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."

他们本该在晚上打球

神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他自我介绍说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”

英语幽默小故事4

A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.

一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”

英语幽默小故事5

Even My Driver Can Answer that Question

A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on  the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.

The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."

甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题

一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。

司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”

关于第四个，Simon says是一个小游戏，只有在发令者说“西蒙说”的时候才要执行，没有的话就不能，做错了的话就输了。
例如，“张嘴。”如果张嘴就输了，因为没有加“西蒙说”。同样地，“西蒙说张嘴。”如果不张嘴就输了。
其实所有的游戏只会在“西蒙说游戏结束”的时候才会结束。

qylizhi：关于第四个，Simon says是一个小游戏，例如，只有在发令者说“西蒙说”的时候才要执行，没有的话就不能，做错了的话就输了。
例如，“张嘴。”如果张嘴就输了，因为没有加“西蒙说”。同样地，“西蒙说张嘴。”如果不张嘴就输了。
其实所有的游戏...回到原帖

emmm...我不是很了解这玩意...毕竟是复制过来的...

wuzhongyuA：emmm...我不是很了解这玩意...毕竟是复制过来的...回到原帖

知道大部分人都不了解，所以才在下面解释的嘛。

qylizhi：知道大部分人都不了解，所以才在下面解释的嘛。回到原帖

噢噢，谢谢

wuzhongyuA：噢噢，谢谢回到原帖

沙发位置发的帖子你还置顶什么

qylizhi：沙发位置发的帖子你还置顶什么回到原帖

刚刚发现，所以取消了...

qylizhi：关于第四个，Simon says是一个小游戏，例如，只有在发令者说“西蒙说”的时候才要执行，没有的话就不能，做错了的话就输了。
例如，“张嘴。”如果张嘴就输了，因为没有加“西蒙说”。同样地，“西蒙说张嘴。”如果不张嘴就输了。
其实所有的游戏...回到原帖

受教

@ffnqense 咋回事啊，我给你发私信，结果系统说接受用户不存在？？？？？